Stuck like Carrots | How to Break a Siege, Personal
Stuck like Carrots | How to Break a Siege, Personal
“…and when darkness finds you. You will face it. Alone.”
I’ve recently broken a decade-long personal siege.
A personal siege is a problem that besieges you from all sides, suffocates you and is often too strong for you to break/resolve on your own…or so you think.
We often don’t empower & instil in people the ability to face their challenges alone. This is tragic when it stops people from chasing their dreams and catastrophic when it becomes a modus operandi in our adult lives.
Life tests us.
Physical. Personal. Social. Mental. Financial. Spiritual.
A few people excel, some fail, while many of us just…flounder.
One way or another we all end up facing our demons alone.
If it isn’t the unrelenting pressure, then it’s the sustained isolation of dealing with these problems that makes a personal siege hard.
Even the happiest and socially bright people eventually face dark days and they do so alone. This isn’t bad. It’s life. The people around you can only help you so far because they are engaged in their own battles and your path in life is yours to own – warts and all.
This is not to say help isn’t available or that you should go it alone on purpose, it’s just to know that you are alone at your core and should muster the inner fortitude to save yourself.
For example, if you’ve lost a loved one, started a business, suffer from chronic illness or even try to give up an addiction you’ll know what it feels like to be *supported* but to essentially face the challenge alone. Not easy and absolutely brutal when you go through the motions.
The stress of accepting this reality and tackling things alone can make you feel besieged. Like you’re surrounded and stuck in life. People can help you, but they don’t experience the pain and they can’t resolve it for you. The longer you wait around fumbling, the tighter the siege becomes and the weaker you become.
Perhaps, the following few stories will help you when you feel alone and give you the strength to break your own siege.
You are soldiers of Gondor! No matter what comes through that gate you will stand your ground!
Harry Potter 3
In Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban, we see Harry & Sirius go through the story together where Harry discovers Sirius is on his side. By a turn of events, they end up at the edge of a lake surrounded by hundreds of dementors. As the dementors suck out their (happiness? life essence?), they both begin to die. Harry is powerless to stop it and resigns to his fate until he sees his (dead) dad on the other side of the lake casting an insanely powerful Patronus charm to drive the dementors away and save them.
To Hermione’s disbelief, Harry is adamant that his dad saved him. They eventually end up going back in time and reach the lake where his dad is supposed to be. Harry & Hermione start to witness (previous) Harry & Sirius get attacked and start to die at the hands of the dementors.
Hermione urges Harry to do something bur he keeps insisting that his dad is about to show up and save him. Realising that he’s dying and that no one is coming, Harry springs into action and casts an insanely powerful Patronus charm and saves his previous self. He realises in that moment, that it wasn’t his dad that saved him. It was himself; and he did it with a power he didn’t know he had.
No one can save you from the throes of darkness except you.
The light! It burns!
Terrorblade, the Demon Marauder
I could not word this next story better if I wanted to. It’s the story of Terrorblade from the video game Dota 2 and there’s a lesson in it for us. So here’s a direct bio:
Terrorblade is the demon marauder—an outlaw hellion whom even other demons fear. A cosmic iconoclast, he stole from the Demon Lords, ignored the codified rites that should have bound his behavior, and broke every law of the seven Infernal Regions. For his crimes, he was taught this lesson: even Hell has a hell. A short, brutal trial ensued, with many dead on all sides, and he was finally incarcerated in Foulfell, a hidden dimension where demonkind imprison their own.
But Foulfell is no normal prison. In this dark mirror of reality, demons are sentenced to gaze eternally into the twisted reflection of their own souls. But instead of suffering, Terrorblade made himself master of his own reflected worst self—a raging, thieving demon of unimaginable power. With his inner beast under sway, he destroyed the fractal prison walls and burst free to turn his terror loose upon all creation.
Chills. Literal Chills.
What’s crazy – and relevant – about this story is that Terrorblade was cast into the darkest, foulest, mind-bending prison and instead of succumbing to his own ‘demon self’ which is what was supposed to happen, he overpowered & tamed it then broke free stronger than ever. The personal sieges we face in life are invariably some form of mental game. Our ability to overcome them rely heavily on our mental strength, willpower and the inability to give up no matter how dire the situation.
When you feel you are going through your own personal siege, you can either succumb to its pressure and difficulty or you can find inner strength alone and rise above it.
Terroblade casually asking his inner demon if he even lifts
The Army of the Dead
The year is 2003, the Lord of the Rings (LotR), the Return of the King has just been released. My brother and I rush to the cinemas. Two tickets please. Best seats in the house. It’s LotR, any seat is the best seat.
Alongside a packed theatre we witness some of the greatest action sequences in film history. The riders of Rohan shouting ‘Death’ as they charge into thousands of Orcs. Gandalf faces down the Witch King & the Nazgul. The Haradrim blast their way into battle and let off the greatest battle horn known to man.
Despite all these epic action sequences, the forces of Evil are still too much. The good guys can’t win.
Until the Army of the Dead arrives. They cleanse the battlefield and win an impossible victory for the forces of good.
For heretics reading this that don’t watch LotR, none of the above will make sense so let’s break it down.
Mordor (bad guys) attacks Gondor (good guys). Gondor is helped by their friends Rohan. But they still lose to Mordor until the Army of the Dead arrives and wins the battle for the good guys – because well, they’re essentially ghosts!
The Army of the Dead are old soldiers of Gondor who ran away from battle and abandoned the king of Gondor (maybe hundreds or thousands of years ago) so they get cursed to roam the Earth and never rest. The hero Aragorn is the next king of Gondor, and he rallies them and gets them to fight for him. On a surface level, it’s cool to see ghosts fighting but under the surface, you realise the ghosts are the people of Gondor…saving themselves. It isn’t the Elves or the Dwarves or even other Men who actually break the siege. It’s Gondor’s own people.
Whether you are an individual with a personal siege or a group of people (nation, cause, community, religion, whatever) then you should realise that no one outside of you or your group is going to break your siege for you. You’ll have to save yourself.
When you lose so badly that you start calling your ancestors for help
How to Break a Siege
It’s crucial for us not to fall into nihilism, depression or apathy about our personal sieges over the fact that we must rescue ourselves alone.
It isn’t malice or injustice aimed at you that stops others from rescuing you. It’s just that they have their own battles to fight and really, you should be facing down your challenges yourself. It’s what makes you; You. Ask for help when needed but don’t cripple yourself if none arrives and certainly be ready to go it alone especially when things get dark.
Anyway, how do you actually break a siege? Probably like this:
Smile. You’ll need optimism and a sunny disposition in the darkness.
Accept that no one is coming. In your bones, you should be ready to face the darkness alone.
Have self-confidence. Like Terrorblade, entertain the idea that you can overpower your demons and that you are indeed the strongest copy of yourself in any reality.
Act. Whatever the specific personal siege is – take active steps to break it.
Be relentless. Fun fact: the Ottomans besieged the city of Thessalonica for 8 years until they captured it making it one of the longest sieges in history. Do you have any idea how relentless you have to be to tie up the lives of thousands of people for 8 years to capture one city! Be as uncompromising in breaking your own siege.
Despite what many movies and stories might lead us to believe Deus Ex Machina doesn’t happen often enough to rely upon. Heavenly beams won’t smash into the ground saving you, the tools of wit, intelligence & creativity, that you were given; will.
Save yourself.