Cool Story, Bro | How to Build a Personal Narrative
Cool Story, Bro | How to Build a Personal Narrative
“Follow the vine
Count the leaves to the root,
Trace back the lines
And you will find out the truth”
You are currently on a rock. A giant spinning rock suspended in the cosmos. But your rock is not the biggest spinning rock, in fact, it’s a rather small one relatively speaking. There are billions of other rocks like it in the ever-expanding universe. Celestial bodies and planetary systems in limitless forms, shapes and sizes. Hot. Cold. All things in between.
On your rock – Earth – is a vast unyielding ocean. Under your feet are caverns of old stretching to the dawn of the planet’s creation. Under these caverns could just be more dirt or magma. All of it relatively unexplored.
While we know a lot about the oceans, the Earth and space we don’t know nearly as much as we think we do. It’s all still a grand mystery really. What else is out there? What is all this for?
It can all be a little daunting not knowing the exact reasoning for the world around you and trying to find your way through life without a past or a future. Our eyes open in this world and too often close no wiser than the day of our birth.
Where did I come from? Where am I going? What is in the vastness of the unknown? What is my place in it?
All terrifying questions to ponder on and incredibly disorienting if your life lacks a narrative.
That little speck is us - yeah I know
See for better or worse, you need a narrative in life, a story; something that tells you where you came from, where you’re going, why you are doing what you do and how it all fits into the grand scheme of things. Otherwise, you go insane. It all become too overwhelming.
Religions and political movements build compelling stories all the time to help humans find an equilibrium in their psyche and build an identity that stops us from tearing ourselves apart. Whether they are truthful or not is for the individual to decide but that isn’t the point – so long as we tell ourselves a good story.
Since the dawn of humans and up until today, we as humans need to build a compelling story and narrative in our lives. Doing so helps create strong emotional and relational bonds between others, it anchors us to our past, creates an actionable vision for the future and gives us strength in the face of insurmountable odds whilst also helping us cope with the vast unknowns of space and time.
This addiction to stories is also timeless, whether it was over the tribal campfire in ages of old or in front of the telly today when we watch our favourite movies. We consume stories en masse to help us build the framework of our character and find our orientation in the world.
Here’s a couple of examples where creating a compelling story has helped people achieve an exceptional reality for better or worse.
Totally unified! Can’t you just see the unity leaping off the page?
Deutsche Land
Did you know Germany is locally referred to as Deutscheland? Insane!
At least to a foreigner like me who’s grown up referring to it as Germany my entire life. You see, the German nation as we know it actually stems from an ancient yet highly fragmented history compared to some of its neighbours.
Germany prior to building the national identity it has over the last century started off as untamed Celtic tribes with a loose association between themselves. It matured into various forms with its most unified fashion taking the shape of the Holy Roman Empire which was also fragmented in its own way. Germany has continually changed dramatically over the ages and has often been ruled by hundreds of local rulers without a true national identity or compelling narrative that has driven their reality (such as the British, Italians or even the French!). It was only during its Prussian days and after the Napoleonic Wars that Germany began serious inroads in developing a militarily and culturally deep unified identity. After federation and the unification of all its various divided lands, the ancient yet fledgling nation flexed its bulging muscles on the world stage in WW1 and it….lost. Miserably.
In the decade that followed, humiliation piled on defeat during the Great Depression and a nation without leadership or unified history was ready to fall by the wayside.
So when this nation, with a fragmented past, broken present and no hopes for a future was seduced by a man with lofty promises of a unified Germany – there were few who could resist. Despite Hitler’s maniacal personality, underneath there seems to lie a shrewd cunning and intelligence – see Hitler invested heavily in the arts and culture, rebirthed German national identity, gave Germans roles to play in social life and produced programs that dictated every aspect of daily life. Sounds stifling and tyrannical but to a people lost in the maze, direction was all they needed. They latched onto this story Hitler spun of their racial superiority and esteemed place in the world.
When all hell broke loose during WW2, the German forces fought harder, functioned better and above all, acted with absolute confidence in all their manoeuvres. When they began losing, they didn’t give up their identity until the Allies pushed them all the way back to Berlin and reduced the city to ruins. Until its last breath, the German people refused to give up their newfound (albeit wrong) identity.
This story shows us that despite the incorrect narrative that was given to a people, just the fact of having a compelling narrative was enough to inspire a nation to its feet. They were given a past to be proud of, a present to work with, a future to work towards and a reason to keep going in the face of impossible odds – however misplaced.
Religion
I won’t go into detail for this example despite the fact it’s the most potent and powerful driver of narratives. Religion is an interesting tool that helps us anchor ourselves using stories. Most if not all religions and belief systems explicitly tell their followers how the Earth began. They also tell them where they are going, how to get there, and how to operate within this world. All of these are crucial components of helping build a compelling narrative that humans can relate to. This affinity helps the followers of various religions fight harder, strive to live longer and bear the vicissitudes of Time more patiently compared to those who lack such defined belief systems.
When things go wrong in their life, they turn to dedicated rituals and motions and take solace in familiar and grounded techniques allowing them to overcome the most insurmountable of obstacles.
People who have no faith, nor follow a compelling narrative of any sort are not nearly as unstoppable as those who do.
How does all this relate to your personal narrative?
If you zoom out of the world and look across history, you’ll notice that each nation, each group – hell even each family has a story. They each have their own narrative about their past, present and future. It helps orient them in the world and acts as a north star during difficult times but also in their day-to-day lives.
The crux of this learning is that there is no reason why you can’t have your own personal individual narrative. Beyond national or familial identity, you can ask yourself; Who is <insert your name here>? Where have I come from? What have I overcome? Where am I going? What do I stand for?
Crafting a personal story can be grounded in reality or absolute fantasy using imagination and it can help you traverse the world, enhance your life and act with absolute confidence and certainty.
I love this scene from Godzilla vs Kong that shows all the past villains the G-man has defeated. In a split second it tells us what he stands for, what he’s done and where he’s going!
Benefits of Building a Narrative
Allows you to act with confidence
Gives you an anchoring point when life gets difficult
Let’s you make effective decisions by clearly defining your values
Subconsciously allows you to fight harder and longer
How to Build a Personal Narrative
So how do you actually build a personal narrative? The answer is: any way you like.
That’s one of the cool things about crafting your individual story, you don’t have to consult anyone, you don’t have to follow a set of guidelines or see what others are doing, its just you and your mind. Base it off reality, wrap it in fantasy, thrown in the values that mean most to you and build something that is uniquely yours. That time you passed that difficult test or gave to charity can become a scene in the narrative of your life and help ground you as a person.
Here are some key pointers to help you get started:
Build a vision inside your head of you (or your world) except this vision is your idealised/stylised version
Grow it alongside you as your life progresses (each time you overcome a problem, are tested by a challenge or even fail)
Establish your narrative and history based off what you have already overcome in life
Have a vision for what the end of this narrative looks like
Use it to guide your actions and draw strength from during moments of challenge
Tell yourself a good story about yourself. You’ve earned it.