All I Ever Wanted | The Traveler’s Guide to Life
All I Ever Wanted | The Traveler’s Guide to Life
“What is one life weighed against the entire universe?”
“But it was my life”
I can’t imagine the last few years have been sunshine and rainbows for most people. A growing sense of nihilism is pervading society and particularly my generation, a feeling I can’t help but share to some extent.
The month of November did not help me. Heartbreak, a near-death experience and 30,000 kilometers were just some of the items on the menu.
I’ve had some time to collect myself since then, but I’d be lying if I said the experience didn’t peel back the thin veneer of optimism for a time. I’m content and optimistic but can’t shake the very real tragedy that comes along in life, the ability for it to suddenly end and the fact that a man could meet his death without truly reaching his potential.
I’ve always been an avid believer in Joseph Campbell’s ‘A Hero’s Journey’ – now, I’m not so sure.
Despite this, I know what separates bad from good, and good from great is the ability to see the silver lining in every cloud and to keep going that extra mile. So I’ve prepared a traveler’s guide to excelling in life. You won’t find any grand adventures or heroic tales, just some words of encouragement and guidance from me to you, my valued reader:
The Traveler’s Guide to Life
(for people who wanna succeed and learn to do other stuff good too)
Be Unreasonable
Look out for Number One
Enjoy each second
As you think, you become
Use your greatest weapon
Times (almost) Up
Don’t settle
Turn off Autopilot
Be yourself
Roll up your sleeves
Don’t forget to have fun, otherwise, what’s the point?
Whatever it takes
The Other Guy
Why is it called the Travelers Guide? Because a traveler is smart, aware, intelligent, open to learning, optimistic, resourceful, forgiving and experiences a heightened state of things. It’s a list of things that have become apparent to me on my adventures. Also because the title 12 Rules for Life was taken.
Be Unreasonable
The weight of the challenges life can throw at us are enough to crush us. Whether you are overcoming a calamity, aiming for a better future or platforming for change, the pressures of society, individual health, personal motivation and many other things will weigh us down. The only constant, I have found, is that those who have made it in life (or at least passed through it honorably) have an unreasonable level of faith in what they believe in. They refuse to adopt an alternate identity or let the troubles of the day dilute their character.
The current identity crisis gripping the West (and the world) is in part due to a lack of self-identity, reliable belief systems and group support. Everyone is right and everyone is wrong.
Developing your own core foundational values and a code for living life individual of others is key in establishing a future. Know your place in the world and be content with who you are. Unnecessary access and observation of others’ lives especially at the scale that technology allows (social media) will keep you confused and in self-doubt. Ceaser would never have crossed the Rubicon had he considered the feelings of the Senate.
Look out for Number One
War. Nuclear annihilation. Climate change. Doomsday this. Impoverished third world country that. Growing up in Australia, I’ve sensed a strong culture of guilt over the atrocities committed by ancestors and the guilt over the current conditions in third world countries.
We’re bombarded with ads shaming people into donations by showcasing footage of children that are nothing but skin and bones. The proliferation of content like this is not normal and should not be normalized. The cause is just & the donations are needed. If it’s happening in the world you should be concerned with it however not at the expense of your individual needs.
Controversial to say, I know. But I’m part of a generation that is highly anxious, apathetic, completely detached from reality or suicidal because we are acutely aware of things like climate change and nuclear war. Instead of empowering us, news of these events and realities have gutted our courage and made us passive in our own pursuits. We can’t change it, yet we worry as if though we can. I encourage you to turn off the news and limit the access to digital information. If even for a day and just sit with your own thoughts. For one day, say to hell with others and focus on yourself. Chances are your day will be exactly the same – just more productive.
The world was here long before you and will be here long after you.
Think: If you could swap places with someone less well-off, would you? Even if you did, should that person who is now living your life, stop living?
Enjoy each second
We often severely underestimate the transience of life and its ability to suddenly cease. Truthfully, I have no data to back up my previous claim that my entire generation is anxious, apathetic or depressed. But I’m sure most people would agree. For whatever reason, we have been struck down in this age of sorrow and have forgotten that there is overwhelming good in life. Life is indeed beautiful. The world as it is, can be found to be very merciful, sunny and full of wonder. It is a majestic place that despite the saying – “too late to explore Earth, too early to explore the Stars” – still demands much exploration. At least here in Australia, it is a veritable paradise on Earth.
Let yourself bask in the little joys. Feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your shoulders. before its too late.
As you think, you become
In Islam, Allah says* “I am as My slave thinks I am…”. Meaning whatever you think of God, whatever type of relationship you attempt to foster with Him, is what you’ll get. At least that’s what I think it means. It would certainly be in line with many other sayings you may have heard:
“You only get out what you put in”
“The world will treat you the way you treat it”
“Hurt people, hurt people”
“Confidence is a superpower”
The takeaway being that a positive disposition, good expectations and optimistic thinking are the precursors, nay, the prerequisites to success in life. If you think a certain way, you will speak a certain way and you will slowly but surely become that way.
If you think people are out to get you, that’s what you’ll find in life. If you believe in the goodness of others, chances are you’ll draw out the best in them. A positive mindset, self-talk and belief of the world will open up doors that were previously shut.
*Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (ra) that The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said this.
Use your greatest weapon
The intellectual idiot: someone who is learned (may be immensely so) but is blindsided of their own shortcomings. Example: a CEO
The ignorant fool: someone who never uses the gift of intellect and lives life forever stunted. Example: a bogan
What does the intellectual idiot and the ignorant fool have in common? They both think they are right.
The human trap we all suffer from is leading our lives thinking we know what is best and that we are predominantly correct. Even in moments when justified criticism should encourage good change within us, we end up listening to our pre-conceived beliefs. No amount of external motivation will get us to change unless we actually want to. It is imperative then, that we don’t allow ourselves to become intellectual idiots by being constantly open to learning and appreciating new experiences. On the flip side, it is also important for us to use our own intellect and not let it fall into disrepair for the consequence of doing so; is never truly reaching your potential.
Far too many people reach death believing something and never allowing their world view to be challenged, or rely heavily on flimsy qualities like beauty, wealth or social status and never tap into their true potential.
Like Thanos says to Dr. Strange “you never once used your greatest weapon”.
Times (almost) Up
It’s difficult to ever truly grasp how short life is. Once it’s over, it’s over. There is never any going back. Those who reach old age often lament their youth and what could have been. Those who are young don’t keep track of the years until it’s too late. Whatever it is that you need to do on this planet. Whoever you need to talk to. Whatever dream you want to achieve. Wherever you need to go. Do it now. Not tomorrow. Not after that promotion. Not next month. Now.
This time, here today, is the only time that is ever truly promised to you. Every second in the future is shrouded in mystery and may or may not come.
I could bang on about this but it’s something I struggle with far too often. Procrastinating for a future that isn’t promised to me. I can only hope this serves as a reminder to us both that we are on the clock.
Don’t settle
History is full of people who have thrown away their lives by settling. People settle for jobs. Partners. Friends. In their lives.
The problem with settling is that it promotes a character within us that does not own its own destiny. It encourages meekness and normalises the bare minimum effort in all aspects of life. Just like the ignorant fool, settling for anything in life is a sure-fire way of never reaching your potential.
Grab your dream and the life you want and make it your own. Uniquely yours. Life is far too short and the comforts that mediocrity provides is far too little for you to settle for anything less than your wildest desires. Demand better for yourself.
Turn off Autopilot
You know the worst thing about becoming a settler? Autopilot mode. When we start settling for things in life we become the real world version of the movie ‘Click’ where Adam Sandler fast forwards through life only to find he’s skipped all the best parts.
A life on autopilot will kill the creative soul inside you (and it is inside you) and reduce your ambitions to a spineless bureaucratic version of who you could be.
Autopiloting is useful in small doses but a life lived unconsciously is a life not lived at all. It’s also often hailed as a trauma response – so take care.
Be yourself (everyone else is taken*)
To the extent possible; you can actually do what you want. Yes there are limitations in life and consequences for actions but I’m not talking about kicking kittens, I’m talking about behaving in a manner that is unique to you and individual of much of the feedback your receive from those around you.
For example, take some time to sit and think about all your unique little behaviors, sayings and habits. They are likely an amalgamation of things picked up from TV, friends, work etc. That’s not a bad thing but you soon realise there is very little left of you after a lifetime of unconfidently seeking to please those around you.
In acting, students are taught to drop the fear of judgement from others and learn to express their inner child. To scream, shout and behave unfettered. The best actors are the ones who learn to truly let go.
Know yourself. Be damned confident about it.
*I wrote that on purpose for maximum cheesiness
Roll up your sleeves
Just like your parents, I have to say it – “it’s that damn phone!”
Except this time they’re right. The real world is out there guys. It’s built to be experienced in person not behind pixels or screens or in 10-second videos. It’s in-person. It’s visceral and it’s out there. Put down the phone. Turn off the screen and get amongst the real experiences that are available to us in this world. A simple thing like a regular walk or a once in a lifetime globe trotting adventure. Whatever it may be. It’ll make all the difference between a life lived and a life observed.
Don’t forget to have fun, otherwise, what’s the point?
It only takes a quick look into our lives and into some of history’s wildest stories to know that destiny exists. Things happen exactly as they are ordained. Random chaos can never produce something which takes active energy. Perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps you can put a strong case for why everything is random. That may be true too but the only important takeaway for us is to find peace with that which happens to us. I have much to say on this topic but I think for this guide it should suffice to say: Be at peace with happens to you in life whilst maintaining that skip in your step. Try to find acceptance that things happened exactly as they were meant to. I assure you, in life, there is no other way.
The best of people are able to navigate life and keep their smile up. Stay light-hearted, stay happy, stay cheeky. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Whatever it takes
The Germans had a saying ‘was auch immer notwendig ist’ which means ‘whatever it takes’ (there was a cooler way the Prussians used to say it but I lost the sentence). This essentially outlined much of their military thinking when it came to regimental sacrifice or last stands in battle. The idea was that they would do whatever it took to achieve their objective. While we’re not being as melodramatic or going to war, we can take a crucial lesson from them – be prepared to do whatever it takes for the fatherland to achieve the things you want in life. You are all in, for this game. There is no half-hearted plays. Life will kill you, there is no uncertainty of that.
Play for it like you mean it. Was auch immer notwendig ist. Whatever it takes.
The Other Guy
I’m trying really hard to not have this come across as a ’12 rules for life’ so here’s lucky thirteen.
You know what’s funny about humans? We judge others on their actions and ourselves on our intentions. Take a look at any map of the world and you will find border disputes between many countries; the Armenians hate the Azerbaijanis, Indians hate Pakistanis, Greeks hate Turks, Chinese hate Japanese, North Korea hates South and for the longest time Britain hated France and vice versa. Guess what they all have in common? Yep, they’re all neighbours. Which makes you think, perhaps they don’t actually hate each other. Perhaps they’re just terrible neighbours.
This is important not because it’s a lesson on love thy neighbour but because it outlines that the world is a big place. Its inhabitants, its species, its climate and intricacies are so interconnected and complex that they are borderline impossible to grasp let alone master. Yet as a species, we create working models of the world around us and reach conclusions based off limited information. We navigate our world with limited information and commit to a line of thinking simply because we heard about it first. There’s no shame in this as it is part of the human condition to operate with an incomplete picture. It’s just important to maintain a humble disposition, to keep yourself checked in the knowledge that you know very little about this world and the universe that surrounds it. Keep learning, stay humble and always deal compassionately with others (whose worldviews, challenges and upbringing you likely know nothing about) especially if they are your nieghbour. Be kind to the other guy.
That’s about all the sagely advice I could muster in this turbulent period. I remind myself often to live by these rules and still struggle far too frequently. Like all things in life it’s a process and I hope this guide will help you along your journey.
I leave you with two final questions that I want you to ask yourself. I won’t explain why they are posed to you as a reader but I think with enough thought, you’ll appreciate their importance:
When will you become the wo/man you said you would be?
When was the last time you conquered something?